Fingere
by Arigatou Sheitarou
Summary: Meaning to fake. Italian. The end of the series of oneshots. FateXNanoha; Eilogue Up.
1. Fingere

_**A/N: **I've finally finished this. It's the end of my one-shot series. I'm not sure if I want to add an epilogue. So, I'll just ask you guys._

_**Fingere**_

_"I am nothing but __**a mask**__…_

_…A simple hint of what __**I am**__."_

_**I am a mask.**_

It had not been meant to turn out that way. She had never meant to act on impulse. She had never meant to kiss Nanoha.

She had never meant to stop _pretending_.

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That day. A day like no other.

There was really nothing she could do except stare.

After all, the girl she loved had just gotten engaged to _him_, right before her very eyes.

She could only smile a trembling sort of smile. She could not speak when she knew she was supposed to. But she knew that Nanoha saw the truth within her eyes. She knew that Yuuno saw the truth within her eyes, and that Hayate and everyone else could see the anguish in her eyes. Because her eyes could say nothing and everything at the same time; they had always been able to say the things she most longed to shout.

She had never before felt such agonizing pain.

And she left before she could openly break out into tears. She reached the middle of the street before crumpling into tears, and then she spun on her heels and ran as fast as she could through the falling rain.

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Electricity crackled in the air around her. Her right hand clenched around Bardiche, her left curling into a fist. She stood rigidly, eyes narrowing. Her teeth were clenched, her breathing harsh. The wind blew at her face, her burgundy eyes darkening. Cold. Uncontrolled. _**Furious**_.

"What the hell were you thinking?!"

She could barely recognize her own voice, heavy and laced with anger. A consuming rage that filled her with the urge to rip him apart, but she controlled herself, if only temporarily.

"I thought if I-"

"But it didn't work out the way you planned it, did it Yuuno?" Spite. Venomous spite. "And look what happened. She could have gotten killed!"

She advanced on him, gripping him by the collar with her free hand.

"Fate-chan, please! It was just an accident!"

Her voice. But it did nothing to calm her down, and instead, her anger intensified, outraged at the fact that she would consciously defend him. And so she turned her eyes on her, and she saw her flinch back at the unrestrained glare that was immediately sent her way.

"How can you just forgive him when he almost got you killed?"

And her voice was low, but that did nothing to hide the fact that she was precariously close to yelling. And shivers ran down Nanoha's spine.

"Because he didn't do it on purpose."

"He just didn't think!" She snapped. "He doesn't think about anyone except himself! He says he loves you, but he does nothing except make you miserable!"

And quite suddenly, Nanoha knew that this wasn't just about the accident.

"Fate-chan…he makes me happy…" She tried feebly.

"No, he doesn't!" Fate exploded, grabbing her by the shoulders with a force that _almost_ hurt. "He doesn't make you happy, Nanoha! Don't lie to yourself! Don't lie to Yuuno! Don't lie and say those things right to my face, when you and I both know _he's__ not _what makes you happy!"

"Who are you to tell me what makes me happy or not?!"

"The one who cares about you enough to know when you're hurting yourself."

"Then why do you care so much about me?! Why didn't you do something about it while you had the chance?!"

Something changed within her eyes. _**Snapped**_. And quite suddenly, she was much closer to Nanoha than she would've ever dared to be when in a right state of mind.

"Because I'm the one who loves you enough to let you go if it makes you happy. But he doesn't make you happy, does he?"

And she kissed her, roughly, burning with an ardor she had never truly meant for the world to see. She pressed herself against Nanoha, her hand sliding to the back of the other girl's neck, the other snaking around her waist to pull her closer. Deep down, she wanted to keep hold of that kiss, to burn the feel of Nanoha's lips into her memory. But it lasted naught but a moment, because then her eyes shot open and as if awakening from a dream, and she took a step back. Her eyes wide. And as she realized exactly what she had done, she turned to do the only thing that seemed to make any sense at all.

She ran.

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_"What are you thinking, __Yuuno__?"_

_She received silence as an answer._

_"Stop hurting her. Do you even realize you're hurting her?"_

_A cold laugh._

_"It's funny how people are always so hypocritical."_

_"…What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"It means __that __Shamal__ won't wait forever__."_

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Her legs trembled.

She stood in the midst of a battlefield, surrounded by her subordinates and the people whom she had always had the pleasure of calling friends. She stood a little ways off from her fiancé, staring at the spot on the horizon where Fate had disappeared.

Her lips still burned, her fingers still itched to run through golden locks. Her heart still squeezed violently in her chest. Her eyes still held that image of complete vulnerability in her mind.

She was breathing awfully quickly. A scream was slowly building up in her throat.

That name was on her lips.

_Fate._

"Nanoha…let's go."

His voice was hard, when hers was soft. She didn't want to hear him.

She shook her head.

"Nanoha."

She covered her ears with her hands.

"Nanoha…Come on…"

His face suddenly invaded her vision. His hair was fair, but hers was golden. His eyes were green, but hers were burgundy.

She clenched her eyes shut.

"Nanoha!"

_"__Nanoha.__"_

She shoved him back. She shoved back his heart. And taking a few steps backwards, she began following hers.

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His legs were shaking.

He stood in the midst of a battlefield surrounded by the people whom he had come to call his friends. He stood a little ways off from Hayate, staring at the spot in the horizon in which his fiancé had disappeared.

His heart still burned with self-loathing. His mind was still numb from pain. He still longed to chase after Nanoha and promise her the world.

"Yuuno…"

_You know._

And he smiled at the cruelty of his name.

Because he knew, he had always known that Nanoha would never be his, no matter how much he did or promised.

And so he sunk to his knees, crystal tears dropping from his eyes and unto the ground where they would forever be ignore by the world.

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_"__Testarossa has already let her go.__"_

_Green began to blaze with unrestrained fury_

_"Then why is she still pining after __Fate__?! Why is it that every time I come through the door she begins saying _her_ name, her eyes bright, and when she realizes it's me, her eyes dim and she greets me with that fake smile?!"_

_She turned away from him._

_"You know…you've always known the answer to that, haven't you? __Maybe it's time you stopped being so selfish."_

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What was expected of her.

All her life she had done everything that was expected of her. She had gotten good grades at school. She had been a good daughter to her parents. She had been obedient. She had helped her friends countless times. She had helped save the world. She had gotten engaged to Yuuno.

And yet there were things that had not been planned, things that were not expected of her. She had fallen in love with her best friend. She had fallen utterly and completely, hopelessly and irrevocably in loved with Fate Testarossa. With the way the girl's eyes shined when she smiled, with the blush that she could evoke in the girl when she teased her…with the way Fate's voice sounded when she said her name, low and gentle, sweet and bitter, husky and resembling velvet. She had never heard anyone say her name that way, and when the girl did, it made her feel special, because Fate's voice never sounded like that. Fate Testarossa Harlaown never made things sound like a necessity or a sin.

She was in love with her kindness and ability to listen. She was in love with everything that made her Fate, and she was finally admitting it. She had always loved Fate, just like she loved Hayate, and Yuuno, and Chrono. But when she had fallen 'in' love with her…when _had_ she fallen in love with Fate?

When had it all started?

When had she begun thinking that her name had a special ring to it whenever Fate would say it?

When had she started telling herself that she would do anything over and over again if she knew it would make Fate smile?

When had Fate stolen her heart and locked it away in a place in which she could not reach it, no matter how hard she tried to take it back?

Her lips burned. The feel of Fate's lips was forever seared into her memory.

And for the first time in her life, Takamachi Nanoha would do something that was not expected of her. Because she knew that if she did not chase after Fate now, she would regret it for the rest of her life.

And she was through with regret.

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"Fate-chan!"

That voice was…

"Fate-chan, wait! Please, wait!"

…bringing her out of her haze.

That voice was…

"Fate! Fate!"

…the light shining through her despair.

That voice was…

"Fate! I…I love…!"

…Nanoha's.

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_"When did this start, Testarossa?"_

_"When, indeed."_

_A dead smile._

_"…I understand."_

_"Do you? Or is it just pity? Don't lie to me, Signum."_

_"I'm not lying. I understand how you're feeling."_

_Laughter._

_Cold._

_Cruel._

_So unlike the Fate Testarossa she knew._

_"Don't bother trying to psychoanalyze me."_

_"…I understand because I'm in love with someone who doesn't love me back."_

_Finally, __**finally**__, burgundy eyes turned to look at her. __Lifeless.__Expressionless._

_"__It's not the same."_

_"How?"_

_"Because I'm in love with someone who loves me back."_

_Tears._

_Many tears dripping down porcelain cheeks._

_"...Then what's the problem?"_

_"It's not what's expected of her."_

_And finally, Signum understood who Fate was talking about._

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She was alive.

Wasn't she? Was she?

"I love you."

Was it real?

That curtain of brown hair around her face, those blue eyes that were bright with honesty.

"I love you."

Weren't they lies?

Those words that she had longed to hear, the taste of lips against her own, the temptation of flesh against flesh.

"I love you."

She was fading.

But that voice had brought her back.

"I love you."

She was resisting.

But those hands, and lips, and eyes were tearing down all of her defenses.

"I love you."

She was hurting.

But those words had begun to heal her.

"I love you."

"…I love you too."

_**A/N: **I feel like giving them an epilogue because I don't think I've given them enough closure. It'll probably be something extremely fluffy, something that will involve Fate, Nanoha, Vivio, and a discussion of Santa Claus. XD Kidding, kidding. The Santa Claus thing I won't do. But it's sure to be something cute. If I do it._

_So, I ask you this._

_Epilogue, or no epilogue?_


	2. Epilogue

_**A/N: **Sorry I have not updated in a while. You know, this is not my year. I got mugged and had a car accident in the same week. Isn't that funny? No. It's really not. As you may guess, I'm horribly bitter about all the crap that's happened. Anyway, one of my wrists is broken and I'm gonna lose my job because I broke my leg too. Ha ha. See? I'm laughing. ...Forgive me...I'm just having a horrid time dealing with all of this...I just hope it gets better...I don't know who else has this much bad luck in one week...Thanks for reviewing the previous chapter. You guys really make my day happy. _

_Oh, before I forget...shout out to BPHaru. Yes, I read the little gift. I loved it; it was really rather sweet...It made my day. I swear. Keep up the good work. I dedicate this epilogue to YOU. If it's good enough for that..._

_**Fingere**_

**Epilogue**

"Damn!"

A hiss, disturbing her from the task of cleaning up the room. She looked over to where Signum stood. The young woman cradled her finger in her hand, continually switching from glaring at the stack of papers she had been handling and staring in irritation at her finger. Fate felt the corner of her lips tug in the beginnings of a smile.

"What happened?" She asked, continuing to organize the books on the shelf.

"Paper cut." Signum said, still glaring at the stack of papers.

"Need Shamal to help you fix that?" Hayate's teasing voice came from the other end of the room.

The young woman's face flushed almost unnoticeably and she directed her glare in Hayate's direction. Said girl sniggered as she finished setting up the banner with Yuuno's help. The emerald eyed young man smiled at what was being said but remained quiet. Hayate then proceeded to jump from the set of stairs they had brought into the room, and when Yuuno did the same, they both walked to the entrance of the room and looked at the banner. They exchanged glances, and then looked towards Fate.

The twenty three year old seemed unbothered, but they both knew better than to think she was okay. After all, her hands were trembling slightly, and even if it was barely noticeable, there was a spring in her step that showed them exactly how happy she was that this day had come. And she was absolutely delighted.

"Well, Fate-chan," Hayate began, her hand sliding against Yuuno's to interlace their fingers, "We should go and see if Shamal needs any help in the kitchen. This place looks pretty much set, anyway."

Fate turned to them and nodded. She shot a meaningful look at Yuuno, who met her eyes and smiled a heartfelt smile.

"Thanks for everything." She said, softly, oh so softly, and Yuuno couldn't help but walk forward to hug her.

"We're friends, aren't we?" He murmured against her hair, and Fate felt the urge to say something important to him.

"I'm sorry." They both said in unison, and leaning away from each other, they laughed.

Fate waved at Hayate and Yuuno as they left through the door, and once they were gone, she smiled in relief, because they were both friends again, and it was as though nothing had ever changed between them. They were friends, best friends, and after everything they had been through, they were still on the same page. Signum noticed her smile, and smiling to herself, she tapped the blonde's shoulder to obtain her attention.

Fate looked back at her questioningly.

"Do you have a Band-Aid?"

The blonde turned away to hide her grin as she said, "We already said you should go to Shamal for that."

Signum glared at the blonde.

"Not you too, Testarossa?"

Fate shook her head, and walked inside the bathroom. She came out with a Band-Aid.

"Not me too, Signum. Here, I feel sorry for your getting teased."

Signum rolled her eyes and applied the Band-Aid to the tiny cut, and she wondered why she had asked for it in the first place. She proceeded to file the papers, and she and Fate worked in silence for about a half hour before they were interrupted by a small fit of giggles coming from the door. A young girl of about eight ran inside the room, her heterochromatic eyes scanning the room for her mother. Fate turned to her protégé and smiled in amusement as a panting Vita ran inside after her, followed closely behind by Erio and Caro, both of whom grinned at her apologetically.

"Vivio…" Vita panted, finally catching up to the girl. "You can't be here."

"But I want to help Fate-mama…" The little girl said, looking up at Fate with begging eyes.

Fate knelt down beside her and ruffled her hair affectionately.

"We're already done here, Vivio." And seeing the girl's crestfallen expression, she said, "You can help by making a card for Nanoha. It would make her really happy."

Vivio nodded and took Vita's hand. Fate followed them to the hallway and watched as they both disappeared behind a corner. Erio and Caro both grinned at her.

"You're really happy, aren't you Fate-san?"

Fate smiled, her eyes shining.

"Is it that noticeable?"

Erio laughed and, taking Caro's hand in his, he waved at her and disappeared behind the corner. Fate turned back to Signum and found her trying to hide her smile.

"You've changed a lot in these past few years, Testarossa."

Fate looked away in order to hide her smile. She directed her gaze to the window, successfully avoiding Signum's searching eyes.

"So have you, Signum."

"Yes," The other began, following her gaze to the window, "So have I."

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When Takamachi Nanoha arrived home, she was very excited.

She had been longing for this day to come ever since she had taken on the mission and learned she would have to be away from home for months. She had sorely missed her friends; she had missed hearing Vivio's voice, and Fate…how she had missed Fate's eyes, how she had missed taking comfort from her very presence. She had missed the blonde's touch, and couldn't wait until she saw her again. She grinned to herself as she fumbled with the keys to their room, and when she had opened the door, she shoved her bags inside and was met with unexpected darkness.

And as soon as she turned on the light, shouts of "Surprise!" met her ears and she was bombarded with hugs.

"What…?"

Hayate, Yuuno, Subaru and Erio grinned at her while holding up drinks.

"Welcome back, Nanoha-chan!" Hayate declared, and proceeded to take a sip of vodka.

"Oi! No drinking allowed in front of minors!" Vita said, glaring up at Hayate.

"Who's the minor here, Vita-chan?" Shamal asked cheekily, pinching one of Vita's cheeks with her fingers.

The girl twitched and glared irately back at her blonde friend. Behind them, Signum waved at Nanoha and the brown haired girl couldn't help but grin back at her friends.

"Nya ha ha, thanks for the welcome." She said, smiling widely at them.

"Nanoha-mama!"

That voice…she knew that childish voice. She rushed forward and took the little girl into her arms.

"Vivio! You've grown!" She whispered delightedly, leaning back to take in her protégé's appearance. "I missed you!"

The little girl's eyes shone vividly with happiness, and Nanoha kissed her forehead and hugged her again.

"I missed you too!" Vivio responded cheerily, and detached herself from Nanoha.

Nanoha stood up and ruffled Vivio's hair before looking past her to meet Teana's gaze.

"Welcome back, Nanoha-san." The girl said, and smiled before she was pulled over to the drinks by Subaru.

Nanoha grinned as she watched her companions having fun around her. She observed as Erio and Caro, their hands entwined, talked to Yuuno and she wondered when they had finally gotten together. She also wondered how Yuuno's relationship with Hayate was going; knowing those two, it was probably flourishing. She watched as Hayate behaved the way a shameless cosplay designer would, seizing the opportunity to take the measurements of those whom she wanted to dress in her deviations. Shamal was, of course, by her side and was currently trying to shove Vita into the kitchen so they could have her strip and change into a sexy kitten suit. The poor girl was red-faced twitching, and fortunately for her, Signum took pity and saved her from that terrible fate.

_Fate._

Nanoha froze suddenly, her heart terribly hollow as paranoia swept over her.

She watched as Shamal grinned at Signum, and saw said girl smile softly at her. And it was that gaze that woke it up.

A terrible desperation that gripped her whole body and made her feel as though she was drowning instead of treading water.

Her friends were talking all around her, but she wasn't paying attention. Her gaze was searching through the small crowd…

_Where…?_

_Where is she?_

…but she couldn't find who she was looking for. Her head was spinning as she searched the room, but she couldn't find her.

_F…_

_…Fa…_

Why was her heart pounding so desperately in her chest? Why was everyone acting as though everything was okay? Where was she?

_…Fate…_

_…Where's Fate?_

She was racing up the stairs and stumbling blindly into a dark room, her hands desperately searching for the light switch. Her fingers crept along the wall she had come to know like the back of her hand for that which would allow her to see.

Warm arms encircled her waist and drew her to the body she had so yearned to feel against her side for so long.

"Fate…" It was relief, and an emotion that was difficult to feel, because it felt as though she were choking, and was so similar to breathing.

And before she knew it, she was turning in those arms and her own were wrapping around the other's neck. She was melting in Fate's embrace, and even though she could not see, she simply knew as though she had a second sight, that Fate's eyes were glazed over and that her lips were moving to say things but no sound was coming out.

"…Finally…finally…" Fate whispered, and Nanoha couldn't help but lean back, only to lean forward and press their lips together.

She was seventeen again, and her stomach was full of butterflies for the first time because she had seen the most beautiful girl in the universe in her prom dress. She was eighteen again, standing in the middle of a park after having realized that somewhere along the way, she had fallen in love with her best friend. She was nineteen again, and the world was spinning as Fate kissed her for the first time, in the midst of all their friends and co-workers.

Her stomach was fluttering again and she was giggling, giggling like a giddy schoolgirl.

"I missed you…" She whispered, sighing as she buried her face into the crook of Fate's neck.

She felt safe, and happy, and oh so very comfortable. It was her personal happy place, and Fate let her have it however many times she felt like it. She pressed her lips to the skin there and Fate gave a little shiver. Nanoha grinned into the skin, pleased to see that her time away had not changed Fate's weak spots.

"I missed you too…I'm so happy you're back…"

The lights suddenly turned on.

"Well Fate, while I'm happy that you're happy," a voice began, "We need you to stop hogging Nanoha-chan. And why are you two up here in the dark? Were you about to do something dirty?"

Nanoha rolled her eyes and took a few steps back. She did not count on her heart stopping as she looked at the young woman that had stolen her heart at a pretty early age. Fate's burgundy eyes were very expressive, telling her, as they always did, the things that the blonde most wanted to say out loud.

_I love you, I missed you, why won't they leave us alone?_

Nanoha laughed at Fate's small display of selfishness and simply hoped that the blonde could read the message in her own eyes.

_I love you too, I missed you too, but we'll have to be patient._

"I like hogging Nanoha…" Fate said out loud, and she was smiling happily.

Nanoha laughed, and there were butterflies in her stomach as she turned to face Hayate.

"And hugging her." The brown haired girl continued for Fate, grinning, "And kissing her, and touching her, and f-"

"Alright, that's enough!" Nanoha yelled, her face beet red as she shoved Hayate out the door, "Let's go, Hayate-chan!"

The shorter girl laughed and continued walking downstairs, and Nanoha paused as she followed her. She looked back at Fate, who smiled at her, and she wondered how the other girl had fallen in love with her.

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Fate Testarossa spent the remainder of the evening trying to keep her hands off the beautiful blue eyed brown haired girl. She had not been so happy in a long time. People noticed.

By the time it was two in the morning, they decided that they had had enough and wanted to get to bed. That was around the time Fate felt relief beyond all reason. Yuuno and Hayate volunteered to take Vivio for the night, and although Fate protested at this notion, there was a tiny part of her that felt at fault for wanting the little girl out of their room for the night. Her stomach flipped guiltily.

"Are you sure?" She asked when Yuuno insisted.

The emerald eyed young man nodded and flashed a smile.

"I think you need it." He paused, and looking at Nanoha's slumped form on the couch, he added, "Both of you."

Fate looked back at Nanoha and smiled involuntarily. She turned back to Yuuno.

"Thanks." She whispered, and he grinned at her before walking over to Hayate who carried Vivio on her shoulder.

She closed the door behind him. And was glomped from behind.

"Finalllyyyy…" Nanoha's sleepy voice drawled, "Come on…I wanna go cuddle…"

Fate resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"You're a cuddle addict." She said, even as she followed the other back to their bed.

"Oh, shush." Was the reply, "You know you enjoy it. And besides, I missed my Fate…"

"Oh, 'your Fate', is it?"

Nanoha stopped and stared at her from the corner of her eye.

"Mine." She enunciated, "Very, very mine."

"Yours." Fate agreed, and the butterflies in her stomach made her feel as though she were a little girl with her first crush.

Their eyes met and the time Nanoha had been away suddenly meant nothing. They laughed together, softly, in relief, because they had both realized that they were still on the same page. They were still together, and that would never change.

Nanoha moved forward and they both leaned in until their foreheads met. Fate did not need to say it. Nanoha heard her without words.

"I love you too…"

Fate kissed her, and they fell back onto the bed. Finally, there would be no more distractions.

"Nanoha-mama, Fate-mama!"

"Wait, Vivio! They- Aha! I knew it!"

"Hayate, did you…get…hah?"

Fate buried her face in the bed, wishing it would swallow her whole.

_**A/N: **I'll be writing more slowly, okay...? Sorry about that...but...Melody's newest chapter is almost done...and I got a beta! Yes! Kudos to my beta Hoppy-chan. Very good conversation too. So, let's focus on the happy! Happy! Ha ha...ah...well, one step at a time..._


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